Mr. Goxx, The Crypto-Trading Hamster, Is Outperforming Human Traders

Mr Goxx, like many others, is dabbling in bitcoin in the hopes of striking it rich.


He’s famous for two reasons: first, he’s profitable, with a lifetime return of around 20%, outperforming many professional traders and funds. Mr Goxx, on the other hand, is a hamster.

A trade office is connected to the business-minded rodent’s ordinary cage. Every day, when he walks into the office, a Twitch livestream begins, and his Twitter account informs followers that Mr Goxx has begun a trading session.

Famous American Novelist, Michael Chabon wrote, “One reliable way to avoid being completely disheartened by the present system is to relish the moments when it betrays itself.”

By running in his “intention wheel”, he selects which cryptocurrency he’d like to trade, as the wheel spins through the different options. His office floor has two tunnels nearby: one for buy, one for sell.

Every time he runs through a tunnel, the electronics wired to his office complete a trade according to Mr Goxx’s desires.

Two German men in their 30s are the brains behind the furry financier. “We thought that everything is growing more expensive these days,” they stated, “and that saving is really difficult to achieve with high rents to pay.”

“It appears that most people of our generation see no other option but to invest a large portion of their assets in the crypto market, despite having no idea what’s going on. We were kidding about my hamster’s ability to make better investing selections than we humans.”

Mr. Goxx’s name is a reference to the cryptocurrency market’s potential tragedies. Mt Gox was once the world’s largest cryptocurrency exchange – until it was hacked and hundreds of thousands of bitcoin were stolen, forcing the company to declare for bankruptcy.

The first month was challenging. Mr Goxx began on June 12th with €326 (£278) and an order for Stellar (XLM). Goxx Capital was down 7.3 percent after a month and 95 orders. However, as of September 27, the brave trader’s career performance was up 19.41%.

According to calculations by crypto news site Protos, this outperforms not only major financial indexes like the FTSE 100 or the Dow Jones, but also the performance of Warren Buffet’s company, Berkshire Hathaway.

To be clear, Goxx Capital is not a legitimate investing firm, and Mr. Goxx’s human partners are quick to point out that every tweet should not be construed as such.

Mr Goxx’s creators, on the other hand, desire to remain unidentified.

Cryptocurrencies were “very controversial topics” and “as with almost any topic discussed on the internet these day, it feels as though discussions can become heated and uncivil quite quickly”, they told BBC News.

Mr Goxx’s owner, a lecturer and prototyping expert, says he enjoys piqueing people’s interest in new technology by using comedy.

His best buddy since university has been the other human involved, a coder. And the couple, who live hundreds of kilometres apart, “sort of reunited” while working on Goxx Capital remotely.

People are very interested in the rodent’s odd trades, both online and in real life.

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